Posted by: Nick | November 21, 2008

Public Service Announcement: Kanye’s New Album is a Heartache

Kanye West took a three week vacation to Hawaii and belched this album while he was there.  Now he wants you and everyone else to go and spend their money on this monumental failure entitled 808s & Heartbreak.  I was a huge fan of The College Dropout (and liked Late Registration and Graduation).  You may think that the departure from the Education-themed titles is the source of this album’s troubles – – a valid point – –  but the dagger in the heart of this album is AUTO-TUNE.  Auto-Tune is a program that “uses a phase vocoder to correct pitch in vocal and instrumental performances. It is used to disguise inaccuracies and mistakes, and has allowed many artists to produce more precisely tuned recordings.”  In other words, it give the ability of people who can’t sing the ability to not sound like shit.  While this program has been relegated to aging artists such as Cher (remember that crap song “Believe”?) and Madonna (basically any of her new stuff), Kanye felt the need to go nuts with the program for the entire album.  In an interview Kanye is quoted saying that Auto-Tune “is the funnest thing to use.”  For the same reason wild children are given markers that can’t write on walls, someone needs to delete this program from Kanye’s computer permanentaly.

So let me get this straight.  You can wire his entire jaw shut and he will still put out an amazing album, but after he shows the world he is more than a producer and has some real talent rapping, he decides to go and become some weird T-Pain/Britney Spears vocalist.  That just isn’t right.  There is not a single song on this album that I can direct you to for even a glimmer of optimism (unless you count the fact that it is only 12 songs long).  Like salt in a wound, Kanye’s final song on the album is a live freestyle titled “Pinocchio Story” (recorded in Singapore).  Creatively the song includes the following lyrics:

I just want to be a real boy,
Pinocchio story goes, I just want to be a real boy
Pinocchio story goes

The album is set to be released this coming Tuesday, November 21, 2008.  As a service to yourself and music in general, leave this one on the shelf.

For a cool mash-up, press play on both of the videos below and turn Cher’s down a little under half way…

Kanye West- Love Lockdown

Cher- Believe



  1. This isn’t a bad album. ‘Love Lockdown’ probably wasn’t the best track to pick for the lead single though.

    I haven’t listened to the album enough to give a solid opinion of it, but picking on ONE repeated sentence in a freestlye on a live bonus track seems more than a little unfair. Don’t go in expecting The College Dropout IV and you might be surprised.

  2. I wasn’t expecting the same old stuff, but I was expecting a hip-hop album without the synth icing.

    If you read the entire review, I don’t just pick on Pinocchio Story. I want to make clear that I think the whole album is awful (reference 95% of the review).

    More power to you, if you can stand listening to it. I’m sure there will be a wave of rogue Mylie Cyrus fans biting at the bit for a copy.

  3. So do you hate Crystal Castles – Crimewave when they use AutoTune?

  4. It seems that most of today’s mainstream artists use Auto-tune or the equivalent to some extent in music. For me, it all depends on the extent and purpose. CC’s purpose of remixing Health’s “Crimewave” was more dance based than pop. Lyrics were not the focus of the song and I would be hard pressed to sing one verse, even though I’ve listened to the song 100 times.

    Kanye admitted that he wanted to go for a more pop feel with this album and he did. He wants you to hear his lyrics, even through the filter of Auto-tune. It is that which drives (and crashes) this album.

  5. I was waiting for the guy from the Dirty Vegas video to pop up, drop a piece of cardboard down and start breakdancing.

    Didn’t happen though…

  6. The NY Times agrees with you, Nick,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: